Is the notion of the sex bomb valid any longer?
I habitually write about specific aspects which affect relationships between couples and a look at whether the notion of the sex bomb is still valid may seem a departure from that streak. Far from that though this is perfectly relevant.
By definition a ‘sex bomb’ is both a defining icon and a focus of insatiable all-out lust. You need to think of those greats of the past such as Raquel Welsh, Brigitte Bardot, Jane Fonda (in her pre-Hanoi Jane persona), Sophia Lauren and on a more arguable basis in our days Pamela Anderson and Angelina Jolie. Each of these (and I know the list is not definitive) seemed somehow to be able to focus the attention of millions of men and an equal, at least, number of women and become an avatar of sex for the former and an icon to be emulated for the latter.
So why is the notion of the sex bomb no longer quite as valid and what has this to do, if anything, with your relationship. Well, the very definition of the ‘sex bomb’ entailed a certain air of available untenability. Asked in the street just about every man wanted to sleep with them, given half a chance, but knew it was little more than wishful thinking.
There was a certain mystique which personalized the experience for those who were their fans. They felt that Raquel Welsh was hot and the type of girl who given half a chance they would be able to get in bed with, Brigitte Bardot was every man’s sex fantasy in the flesh and Pamela Anderson was the over-exposed, unimaginably perfect, silicon-enhanced pin-up that they felt they would like to spend a night with.
The fact that there were these sex symbols to content with also gave women a role model to imitate both in terms of behavior and looks and created, within relationships, a certain metric where the men compared their women and the women tried to measure up.
The instant communication of the web and the availability of material of all colours and flavors has changed all this. Suddenly we are awash with images of strong sexual content and, just in case all the silicon enhanced babes and perfect make up become too much, every social network on the planet from Beebo to Facebook seem to be full of teens (as well as older women) eager to strip before their digital camera and upload pictures their friends can see which range from the tame family-album prank shot to the kind of material that would make strippers blush.
Beauty and sexuality are hard to define and harder yet to describe precisely because so much of the magic is in the mind and its effects are contextual. The naked (or semi-naked) girl in the picture appears alluring and attractive because of a potent mix of novelty value and fantasy. In the viewer’s mind the person in the photographs becomes inhumanly perfect, infinitely desirable and, because they are not a celebrity, just that much easier to reach.
A click, a message and you could have a potential meeting. Against such a constant barrage of seemingly endless competition Facebook itself and other social networks become part of the reason relationships face new pressures and risks of breaking up as well as engendering a constant sense of insecurity in just about every woman who has a mirror.
As you might expect there is no fix here. One or the other partner in a relationship often bans their other half from getting online or spending there more than an hour or start an argument when they see them chatting but none of this is really a solution. In the face of increased opportunities and constant pressure a relationship, to work, needs a return to basics, a sense that you are with the other person because you really want to and because that’s where you belong rather than seeing it as yet another transitory phase to somewhere else with someone else.
