True life stories of love, sex and deceit. Names and places are changed in order to preserve anonymity.
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Occasionally relationships break down for reasons which may seem difficult to understand to those who are caught up inside them. Each day I receive a number of emails asking for help and telling a story. Some contain information which is difficult to anonymize and others go over the familiar routine of deceit, affairs and broken hearts. |
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Most emails I get are from women who are experiencing some issue in their relationship with a partner. This one this week stood out because it is from a man who is facing a personal issue. We shall call him Mike. He is a successful professional who runs his own motivational speaking business. He is 56 and has been married twice before and is twice divorced. |
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We live in a changing world where relative values seem to be driven as much my circumstances and technology and medicine as by convention. Sarah is 45, a career executive with a human resources group and twice-divorced. “I had to get back to the workplace after a break when my first divorce happened,” she explains, “and I built my own career after that determined not to depend on a man again.” |
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Martha has been with her partner, Steve, for sixteen months now. They are both in their twenties in well-paid jobs which, however, may go if the economy gets any worse, and they are both worried about the future. The stress level in their lives has, over the past year, certainly escalated and it has made their lives, at a personal level, harder. |
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On any given day I receive anywhere between 20 and 50 emails detailing a relationship issue and asking for advice. Of late I have not posted too many new ones as I try to avoid publishing stories which are too similar to each other, as most relationship issues, inevitably, over time will be.
This is one I received in the first week of the new year and it has an interesting angle I think it’s worth examining. Mark met his girlfriend on a dating site at the beginning of 2009. “I joined because I am tired of being alone,” he explains, “the site brings together western men and girls outside the USA and I liked the idea of making a fresh start with someone who is not of the same cultural background as I am and who may have fewer issues with being American.”
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Christmas is a timeof the year when we all take stock of our relationships and our actions throughout the year and come to conclusions which, for better or worse, can only be called life-defining. This is the time when we often feel the need to be with someone the most and it is the time when many families come together and just as many fall apart.
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While I receive many emails each week some are not suitable for publication and others fall in similar, broad categories and I decide not to publish them to avoid repeating subjects. Some, however, offer a fresh take on an issue and they are worth considering. Most are, as you might expect, from women, mainly because we are more willing to accept that we need help in a relationship, while men will bravely (and foolishly) battle on until everything is beyond hope. This one is from a man, called Hassan, who is facing an interesting dilemma.
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Stories as told to me, all names used have been changed to protect the identity of the participants. Do you feel you have an interesting real-life story to tell? Would you like to receive my advice via email? Contact me in confidence. 
