Sun 08 Nov 2009 |
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Taking is such a basic form of communication that it seems almost impossible that anyone would become tongue-tied and be unable to say anything meaningful, particularly when, in a situation with a girl they like, the stakes are so much higher. Women, mostly, cover it by filling in the void left by poor critical judgment, with talk. Men, on the other hand, used to acting on decisions more than talking, suddenly find themselves unable to reach the point of action and end up feeling that their brains are blank. It is this ‘blankness’ which is expressed as a tongue-tied silence as they are unable to say anything meaningful and are not willing to engage in meaningless chit-chat precisely because they feel it will have the opposite effect. The good news is that anything which can be analyzed to this extent can be overcome through a little practice and ‘training’. I know it sounds odd that you would have to train yourself to simply talk to a girl you like but the truth is that unless you actually practice a little at the moment of truth all you will feel, as a guy, is the seeming emptiness inside your head and the inability to take things any further. The sensation and reaction is universal amongst men, though the coping mechanism each man puts in place is different, as it is different the magnitude in which the sensation itself is felt. There are many ways to overcome this shyness and learn to not only approach women you are interested in but then open up the conversation and take things further. Most of these require a little preparation and imagination. My own book How to Talk to a Girl you Like, for instance, has helped a number of men who felt they could not simply get anywhere and many of them were kind enough to get in touch and let me know. What has been common in many of the emails they sent is that what helped them most was the fact that each situation covered in my book presented them with solutions which were easy to use and helped them built upon their own natural skills. In that respect they became better and better using the book as a springboard which, for me as an author, is infinitely gratifying. Judging by the content of messages and emails I have received from readers, beyond the more prescriptive approach detailed in How to Talk to a Girl you Like, in order to be successful when you talk to a girl you need to:
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