Tue 14 Oct 2008 |
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| The Times article by the same title talking about Kate Moss’ recent break up with Jamie Hince got me thinking about this a little bit. The columnist in the article was talking about Kate Moss and the type of man she might go for has its own relationship minefield attached but that does not mean that the choice is any easier for the rest of us who are not super-model types. Over the years of watching office relationships, Christmas party hook-ups, business-trip connects and night-out synchs I have created my own ‘guys you do not date’ list. Let’s see how it stacks up. Lotharios – the last thing you want as a woman is to be another notch in the bragging rights of the office Casanova, the neighbourhood heartbreaker or the club woman magnet. This list includes tennis and Yoga instructors, male masseurs, martial arts club instructors and local bar regulars who have their own bar stool. Serial daters – there is a thing about some guys who simply fear commitment to the extent that they are absolutely fine in every way as long as the dating thing goes and suddenly turn into Mr Hyde the moment the C-word begins to appear in the horizon. Serial daters enjoy the whole dating thing without giving much thought to where it’s going to end. They are in love with the process rather than the end product and it is quite possible that what they love best is the hunt and the conquest rather than you, the person. Unemployed men – before you start to think that this is a money thing or a snobbish attitude nothing could be further from the truth. I have nothing against unemployed men and every guy can be down on his luck from time to time, but those who are usually are too busy trying to get back up to date so if you do happen to come across a guy who doesn’t work and has the time to go out alarm bells should ring immediately. There are plenty of guys who make a career out of living off their girlfriends and we all know where such relationships go and how they end. Married men – as a general rule if you are with a married man one of the two things which will happen is that you will find yourself in a perpetual no-man’s land relationship which never moves forward or you will find yourself back in the market after your married man has either gone back to his wife or gone on to have yet another relationship. Peter Pans – these are the guys who never grow up. You can spot them by their toys and their habits. They are perpetual bachelors who simply love the lifestyle too much to move on. They are ok to hang around for a while as they enjoy the fun part of dating but mention the slightest bit of change and commitment and they are gone. Sex addicts – if I had a dollar for the number of times I have sat listening to a friend crying about the end of a relationship that was mind-blowing in bed but had absolutely no future I would now be writing this from my penthouse in the Bahamas. Guys who are into sex to the exclusion of anything else are just Peter Pans with a stronger sex drive. Mother’s boys – beware of the man who needs his mother’s approval in order to continue your relationship. These men may have grown up and moved away from home but their mind hasn’t. Deep inside they still seek parental acceptance and approval which means your relationship is hostage to a deep psychologically flawed drive that will never be satisfied. Gay men – this is an obvious one but there are still those amongst us who think that having a relationship with a gay man is somehow different, a little like going out with a woman with all the fringe benefits of having a man. Do not be fooled by fashion, magazine articles and improbable Hollywood films. This one’s a no-goer from the very start. Your boss – for a woman the temptation presented by the attraction of power is all too obvious and we have the Monica Lewinsky story as the epitome of this case. The repercussions almost always hurt the woman the most and the man, no matter what, is forgiven. Your next door neighbour – if you really want to have an adventure you should look further afield. Going for the boy next door smacks of laziness and timidity and should the relationship not workout you may have to move house which is a steep price to pay. So, remember the ground rules next time you date and your chances of finding a better match than you have in the past will greatly increase. 
Comments (3)Subscribe to this comment's feed...
There's nothing wroing with being a sex addict! If women were more willing to communicate with their men about sex, that wouldn't be a real problem. The women that are too "busy" to be consistently intimate with their man will almost always end up alone or cheated on
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November 20, 2009
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I am sorry but I have to disagree with the next door neighbor. Sometimes we guys are dumb, and that girl next door is the woman that we have been looking for all our life. She is our friend, she is the one we talk with about our trouble with women, and all the time we do not see her for what she really is and should be, the woman we have been searching. Just because we live so close does not mean that we are not what is right, for I know that we as men, often forget those that our closest to us.
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November 30, 2009
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